by Karen Resèndiz
Have you ever felt judged and accused by others? Have you ever felt the look of others that condemn you without even speaking? Have you been afraid of walking into certain places just to avoid people looking down on you? Well, I know that feeling too!
THE GOOD GIRL
I used to try so hard to be the good girl, to do the right thing, and to be recognized for that. But when I failed, when I got stuck in darkness and confusion, all I wanted to do was hide. Hide from everyone around me, hide from those who have seen me at my best and couldn’t handle me at my worst, those who expected more from me in this situation, and those who didn´t understand that getting out of that darkness wasn´t as easy as some people think.So I hid for a long time. I hid because I didn´t want them to know what was going on in my mind. I hid because I was ashamed of my “lack of faith”, I was embarrassed for trying other ways to ease my pain. I was depressed, and anxious, and too hurt to stand up and find the exit to this darkness. I was exhausted of trying and couldn’t do it on my own. So I waited for Jesus to encounter me where I was, I waited for him to rescue me, embrace me, forgive me, and heal my wounds.
CAUGHT IN THE ACT
There´s a story in the Bible that reminds me of this time in my life (John 8:1-11). One day, Jesus was at the Temple teaching a crowd. As he was speaking, some religious people brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery, and they put her in front of the crowd. They said, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. The law says to stone her. What do you say?”I can only imagine the emotions that this woman experienced during this accusation. All the shame that consumed her, the guilt of her sin, and the fear of the punishment she deserved according to the law. Now, something is not right in this story. If she committed adultery, it means that there´s another person involved in this mess. Adultery involves at least two people. So, where was that other person? Did the accusers forget to bring the man to be judged? Did he hide? Did he run away? Was she the only one to blame?
At this point, everyone was expectant to see what Jesus had to say about this matter. Does he agree with this law? Is he going to stone her to death and serve justice? But Jesus’ reaction was way different to what they expected. He stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger.
THE WRITING IN THE SAND
What was he writing? Did he remember a Scripture from the Bible? Was it a phrase of condemnation? Was it just one word? People got anxious not knowing what he was doing, and they kept demanding an answer. I´m sure the woman was terrified by every second that passed.Finally, Jesus stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust. Seriously, what was he writing? Was the woman able to read what he wrote?
Well, we do not know that, but what we know is that these religious guys got tired of waiting, and apparently they were not that good either, because when they heard this, they slipped away one by one. After a few minutes only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. After they left, Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?” The woman began to shake as she responded, “No, Lord, they didn´t”
Did you get chills by reading this? I always do! Jesus, the Son of God, the Messiah, was now speaking straight to this sinner woman. None of the accusers were worthy of forgiveness. None of them were perfect. None of them followed the law all the time. None of them were holy, nor blameless; yet they felt the right for some reason to bring her to condemnation. But when the time came to throw the first stone, they recognized none of them could do it.
NEITHER DO I CONDEMN YOU
Now, here we have a key point. Jesus was the only perfect and holy human on Earth. He did not commit sin. So by default, he was the only one who could easily grab a stone or two and execute justice. Just like the law stated… “stone her to death”. But he didn´t. Jesus looked at her one more time and said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”Wait, What? He didn´t condemn her? The One and Only Messiah? The Holy Son of God? How could he let this sin pass? How could he let her get away with her sin?
Well, I don´t think he did. He just answered with love and compassion. He offered grace to a woman who was already ashamed of her actions. He offered mercy to a woman who was already accused and condemned by many. She already knew she was a sinner; she already knew she did wrong. But what she needed was someone to believe she could do better. Someone that trusted she could change her path. “Go and sin no more.” You are free, you are forgiven, you are given a second chance. Go, and do the right thing.
Jesus´ compassion and love was sufficient for this lady to know she did wrong, that she was forgiven, and that she could be a different person now. After this encounter with Jesus, she was free. Jesus himself defended her and gave her a chance to be better.
YOU ARE FORGIVEN
And that´s what I want to remind you today. You can be set free by Jesus. He forgives you, just as He has forgiven me. And He wants you to live a full life in Him.So don´t hide from others that try to accuse you and remind you the wrong, the bad and the ugly in you. We all have sinned against God. We´ve all been stuck in darkness at some point. We all need grace.
So next time you feel anxious of sharing your story, or walking into a room where you feel judged, remember this woman. Even when all eyes were on her at that moment, the eyes that mattered the most were Jesus´. When you feel ashamed, alone, judged, confused… run to Jesus. Remember his words towards you: You are loved, you are forgiven, you are my daughter, go and sin no more.”
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Karen Arlene Reséndiz is a theologian and author. She is originally from Mexico and now resides in Odessa, Texas. Karen is the founder of a Women’s Ministry called Isha Ruaj – Woman of the Spirit, reaching women of all ages in Mexico and the United States. She is also the founder of Little Seeds Children´s Ministry, reaching children in over 90 countries. Along with her husband and three children, Karen serves God full-time. Presently, she dedicates a great part of her time to writing and creating resources for her ministries, and participates in monthly strip club ministry outreaches.